All the Little Things Left Unsaid
by Claire Littleton-Pace
Summary: Hermione finally recieves the letter she's been waiting to get all summer long, but now that it's arrived, can she read it?
1. Prologue

All The Little Things Left Unsaid

Prologue:

She sat there, looking at the envelope that she had had in her hand, dumbfounded. She had been waiting all winter break for this letter. So much that she had imagined it happening so many times, and of her reaction to it, that when it finally came, she almost didn't think it was real, nor did she really know what to think.

She wondered what was in the context of the letter. For this reason alone she imagined her different emotions to it. She was sure what _he_ wrote was either, he was going to apologize for all that was said, for all that has happened in the past few months, or he was going to be his cold self and pretend nothing happened or that none of it was his fault. Not knowing what he had written in his letter made her both scared and curious.

She stared at the letter some more as if it would magically open and read itself. It didn't. She studied his handwriting. His writing was somehow both messy and beautiful. He wrote in a slanted cursive kind of way, making the letters almost unreadable. That was probably why she liked it so much, it was almost as if they were the only ones that could read it, like a secret note of some sorts.

She stared at his name, just looking at his name, his writing, brought back memories and feelings. All the emotions that she had locked up and was hiding from the World, came rushing back, as if they had never been locked up to begin with. She had so many emotions souring through her body that she wasn't sure whether to curse, cry, or smile like a fool.

She hated how he had this much of an effect on her, still, even after all this time and all that had happened. She never was really one to just let people into her "world," but somehow he got in, and so easily. She had never been a very trusting person, and it was never easy to earn her trust. Not just anybody could gain her trust, but for some reason, she immediately trusted him. She felt like she could tell him anything, that she could say anything, and not worry about him turning her away. She felt safe with him, protected. She trusted him with her life, as well as her heart. Something she'd never done before, and it scared her. She never trusted someone so much and she of course was never so attached to someone like she was to him.

She had so many feelings for him it was hard to express them all, but more difficult to hide them. Though she was able to mask them, hide them, from the public, just not him. No. He could see right through her. He could tell what she was feeling. She was pretty sure he could read her mind with the way he acted towards her, since he knew her so well. The way he spoke to her was always sweet, flirty and with a touch of sarcasm. In fact, it was so sarcastic that most of the time she could not tell if he was giving her a compliment or insulting her. And strangely enough, she liked it. She liked not knowing his feelings for her. It was like a mystery that needed solving. A game, that needed to be finished. She loved problems and challenges, they were a drug to her. Now he was her drug.

He was intoxicating, Not only was he bright, he was handsome, and he knew it. He also used it to his advantage. How could something so beautiful be both good and bad? Easy. He enticed women, making them feel things they never thought they could. In his arms you felt both protected and fearless. He made you feel like anything was possible. He made you feel like you were his one and only, like you were the World to him. That he would do anything for you and nothing to hurt you. He, again, made you feel safe. Loved.

But once you felt that feeling of love, that "love" disappeared. He would suddenly turn cold. He would stop all contact with you for days, weeks, even months. Then out of the blue, show up and act like he hadn't been gone, but would still act cold. He would still touch and flirt with you, but it wouldn't feel the same. It would seem forced, mean. You would also begin to wonder, have doubts. Wonder where he was. If he was with another woman and sadly, most of the time it would be true. The reason? He lost Interest.

All of his ex's believed this but not her. She knew why he did this, it was commitment. It wasn't so much that he was afraid of it, though he was. It was because:

"_Every girl would get this look in their eyes, the look of the end. Where they were beginning to think of spending the rest of their lives with one person. And one alone. And it's an ugly, ugly thing. It's scary and nasty. And I want none of it! We shouldn't be thinking about the future, but of the now. Having fun, living in the moment. When girls get that look in their eyes, their appeal goes down. They look uglier and I lose interest."_

Those were his exact words. But she figured that, though it was true, to an extent, there was probably another reason. That either he had fallen in love once before and the person broke his heart, or that he had never felt it. That he'd never felt that wonder feeling of being in love.

She smiled, thinking about the fond memories, that were quickly taken over by bad and recent ones. She had remembered the first time she met him. She laughed at the thought, oh how she hated him. She could see right through his smooth snake like charm. She saw him for what he really was, a heartless git who didn't give a damn about anyone but himself and that was why she hated him. She hated how he would use and abuse women and act like it was okay, like they deserved it or something. That made her mad. Even though she had hated him to the core, something, there was something that drew her to him. For a while she could not figure out what it was until one day when they had to be in the same group for a class project. It was there where she found out what drew her to him. It was his eyes.

His eyes were what really gave him a way for who he really was. He may have been able to fool everyone else. He was able to fool everyone with his devilish grin, his smirk. The way he carried himself, how he acted like he was somehow superior to everyone else. His eyes would give off this look of disgust with the World. Like there were tons of imperfections in the World, and it disgusted him. He looked as if he hated the World and that it hated him back. But underneath all the cold exterior she could see it. She could see that, that was not how he really saw the World at all. She saw this, and it made her curious. She wanted to find out, she wanted, no, she _needed _to know, and, at the time, didn't know why.

It was just something in his eyes. There was something there, something, like a secret that nobody knew about, but him. He always hid his true emotions from the world but looking at her, it looked like those emotions were just waiting to be told. Like they would just suddenly burst out of him and come pouring out. But not to just anyone, just her. Her and only her. Seeing this made her wonder if she was just seeing things or something.

Though she didn't quite understand it, she knew she had this certain connection with him, she wanted to figure him out. To figure out what he was feeling. What he was hiding. She wanted to get to know him, and this was both strange and scary to her. She hated him, so why did she need or even want to get to know him, and she didn't quite know why but for some reason, her heart wanted to open itself up to him. Because of this feeling, that was when it happened. When they actually spoke to each other for the first time.

While she was wading wars on herself, she hadn't noticed until someone coughed, that the whole group was staring at her. She opened her mouth to ask them to repeat the question, but before any words could come out, he spoke:

"I do not understand the point of this project, please repeat our goals and tasks."

He then looked at her and smiled his signature smirk. She felt her heart flutter, a little, and hated it. She told herself that it was just out of shear frustration and hatred for him, and then quickly forgot about it.

The group quickly repeated what they were suppose to do. Once they were done giving out tasks to each individual in the group, everyone got up and left. She was one of the first ones to get up and leave the classroom. When she was half way down the hall she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned to look at none other than him. He smiled at her, only this time it wasn't his smirk, but a genuine smile. She could feel his gaze on her, and she tried looking away but something stopped her from doing so, and instead she looked up at him.

They stared at each other and for a moment the world seemed to have disappeared and all that was left was the two of them. All she could see was him. She wondered what brought this one, why she was thinking like that. She wondered why she was unable to move, or even speak for that matter, the only thing she could do was stare. Stare into his beautifully intoxicating eyes. She felt this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't hate, it was something else. Before she could figure out what the feeling was, he broke her concentration.

"Look I know you hate me and all, but while we are partners, can't we please just put the hatred aside until after the project is done? Because I actually like this class and want to get a good grade."

She looked at him, surprised. Who was this guy? All this time she had this set image of who he was, so who was this? Even though he had surprised her with his kind and gentle words nothing surprised her more than the words that came out of her mouth.

"_I don't hate you."_

"Oh, then I guess you wouldn't mind joining me after classes to work on our project then."

She wanted to say no, that she didn't want to be anywhere alone with him, but at the same time she wanted to be alone with him, so she said:

"_Shouldn't we do it with everyone else there as well? I mean it IS a group project. It's not just the two of us doing the work.."_

Even thought she said these words, she didn't believe them. She knew her group was full of morons and slackers, minus him, and that she'd be left to do all the work on her own. And as if reading her mind he said:

"Look, I will do half the work, if you promise to do the other half. It's up to you, I really don't care, I could do the whole project by myself as well."

He said the last part with a smirk. He was testing as well as teasing her and she knew that she couldn't refuse the challenge so she said okay.

And that was it. That was what started their friendship.

She put the letter down. It was too much and she couldn't handle reading it, not yet. She couldn't open it, mostly cause she figured she already knew what it said. As she thought about it she began to cry. It was too much. It was too painful and it was his fault. But she didn't blame him. Not all of it, not even any of it really. For it was her fault to let him into her World. It was her fault letting him become her friend and it was her fault to get so attached to him.

_How could I let myself get so attached to him?_

She picked up the letter again and looked at it.

_How could I do this to myself? Am I really that dumb? Do I really want a Romeo and Juliet kind of romance? *sigh* do I really even want a romance? I wish I didn't but I can't keep lying to myself. I love him, and that's that. Ha, ha. I love him? I can't believe that._

Frustrated, she threw the letter onto her desk and fell onto her bed, not to fall asleep though. Ever since all that had happened, he had been haunting her dreams. She laid on the bed to think. She look back at the letter and at his name again.

_Draco Malfoy. The Slytherin Prince. This is just too much. How could I Hermione, be in love with Draco?_

Even though Hermione questioned how this could happen, she knew. She knew that love worked in mysterious ways and that there was no reason to question it. Nor was there a way of getting around it. As much as she didn't want to believe it she was in love.

Hermione Granger was indeed in love with Draco Malfoy.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The sheep that fell in love with the Lion.

Hermione stared at the letter, the letter from Draco. She couldn't figure out why she couldn't open it. After all, it _was_ just a letter.

_How can this letter have such an effect on me? How could a letter mean so much to someone, someone like me and from a person like him?_

But even though Hermione thought this, she knew. She knew it wasn't the letter that had the effect on her, but the man that wrote it. Draco, he had this effect on her. He was the reason why she was so scared to open the stupid letter. She stared at the letter for a few more moments before turning her back on it and looked at the ceiling instead. She grabbed a pillow and began to cuddle with it. As she cuddled with the pillow, she closed her eyes and began to think of Draco.

Hermione couldn't remember the last time she willingly thought about Draco. Most of the time he would creep into her thoughts and then just never leave them, no matter how hard she tried to get him out. This time she allowed it, she allowed herself to think about Draco, something she normally didn't do. It was not because he was unpleasant to think about, in fact he was the opposite. He was handsome, smart, suave, had a decent sense of humor, and was capable of making life interesting. Though he did have some traits that Hermione was not too fond of. He was sarcastic, mean, arrogant, rude, full of himself, and rarely, if ever, said what he really felt. Even though Draco had these flaws, Hermione still 'loved' him. She couldn't figure out why though. These flaws weren't tiny ones, they were big ones. They were ones that would make or break a relationship, mostly break it though. Though she hated these flaws he had, she still cared for him In fact, these flaws were the reason they had not spoken for the whole summer.

They both said things that were hurtful to one another. She said things that she did not mean, but she was hurt. He hurt her feelings, which is not a reason to say hurtful things back, but at the time it felt like the right thing to do. He hurt her in the worst way imaginable, to her, and he acted like it didn't mean a thing to him. As if their entire friendship, meant nothing to him. Beginning to become depressed again, Hermione thought about all the good and fun times they had had. Suddenly several memories came flooding back into her mind that made her blush. She'd forgotten, or rather made herself not think about those memories, because no good would nor ever could come from remembering them. She tried to push them out of her thoughts, and forget them again, but the more she tried to forget about them, the stronger it became.

It was summer, and somehow Hermione had convinced Draco to see a "muggle movie" in the theater with her. Hermione figured he had only said yes so that he could say that he did it, that or have proof to back up his statement that "all muggle things were stupid or unnecessary" Whatever the reason, he said yes, and that alone made Hermione happy.

She, at the time, didn't know why either. Draco was just a friend, a boy, but a friend none the less. She didn't know why she was so happy, or nervous. She had been so nervous she'd been fussing all day long, trying on every article of clothing she owned, to find that perfect outfit. She wanted to look good, and she wasn't quite sure why. So when the day finally came she was so nervous she felt that she had a million butterflies in her stomach.

_He's just a friend, right? So then why am I so nervous?_

Hermione got to the place they had agreed to meet twenty minutes early. She was so nervous that she wanted to just sit down at the restaurant and clear her mind before Draco showed up, but right as she turned the corner down onto the street where the restaurant was located, there he was. He looked more handsome than usual, which was weird for Hermione because she could not, for the life of her, remember when she decided that Draco was handsome. She wondered if she always had thought that, just didn't notice it until today. She stared at Draco who had looked up and noticed her. He had given her his classic sarcastic smirk of a smile, that looked like it had a hint of something else. Hermione was not sure but it looked a lot like desire, like he was impressed b the way she looked. Draco pushed his body off of the wall he was carelessly leaning on, shoved his hands in his pockets and sauntered towards her.

_He looks amazing. Wait, why am I thinking that? It's Draco! We are just friends! Nothing else!_

He stopped in front of her and gave her a smile, the smile she had gotten used to, the smile she had fallen for. The smile that seemed like it was meant for her, and only her.

"Well, afternoon Ms. Granger. I must say you are looking lovely today."

He said it so sweetly and yet with so much sarcasm it seemed like he was mocking her.

_How can he do that and so easily?_

Hermione was amazed, amazed that he could say such nice and beautiful things with such sarcasm and rudeness. She smiled anyways, it was still a compliment and she muttered:

"_Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself, Malfoy."_

"I know."

He smirked at her, he loved being complimented, and was never shy to show that he was smug about it. Hermione smirked and with loads of sarcasm said:

"_And so modest!"_

Even though he was indeed Draco Malfoy, there were times where Hermione forgot he was. There were times where she would forget that he was The Slytherin Prince and that she was Harry Potter's best friend. There were many times that she would see Draco, not as the Slytherin Prince, but as a man, a normal, sarcastic, egocentric, self-centered, selfish, spoiled, and a compellingly handsome man and she, a normal girl. Hermione found it easier to be friends with him if she thought of him that way. If there were not any labels, it made things a lot easier. It made it easier to forget that everybody at Hogwarts feared, loved, and hated him, and that Hermione's best friends were his enemies.

Hermione wished that things were different. That she could talk to Draco whenever and wherever she desired, without worrying about people and what they would say or thought, but things were not like that. Instead Hermione had to hide her relationship with Draco to, everyone, she had to hid the letters, the gifts, even her emotions, everything had to be hidden. She went as far as only meeting Draco in places she knew none of her friends would think of going, out of fear of them finding out. Draco was different though. Where Hermione worried about what people though, he didn't. He could care less about what people thought of him, as long as they didn't bother him, he didn't care. Besides he was:

"… rich, popular, smart, and handsome. What more could I possibly need?"

Even though Draco was a spoiled little rich boy, was rude, annoying and mean, etc., there was something intriguing about him. He was different around her, and only her it seemed. He seemed, nicer, sweeter, when he was around her, but the thing that was always surprising to her was their friendship as a whole. Why were they even friends to begin with? They had a lot in common, they had a lot of the same interests yes, but they were two completely different people with completely different views on most everything, so why were they friends? Hermione knew why she was friends with him, he was intriguing, and very drawing, and there was just something else that made her want to be near him. She didn't exactly know why but she wanted, and needed to be by Draco's side, but not sure why she felt that. She never really thought about it, not until after all that had happened during and after the summer's events. Before all of this happened she was content with his answer:

"We just are, deal with it."

She figured, now, that it was just his way of saying that they had a connection, that their lives were meant to cross paths, and that there was no stopping it, so why question it?

Hermione and Draco decided that since they were so early that they would just eat first rather than go after the movie, like they had planned. Draco bought, of course, he refused to let her pay for anything, because:

"It's the man's job to treat a woman like a princess. And I refuse to let a girl pay for anything when she is in my presence…"

Or something to that effect. After they ate they went to the theater. It was still too early so they sat in the theater, alone. They spoke about everything and nothing. About classes the coming semester, about certain people in their groups, their friends, or otherwise. They joked about certain things, they also had made some sort of a bet about the movie. Draco said

"It is going to be dumb, like most all Muggle things."

"_You never know, You might enjoy it."_

Was all she could come back with. After what seemed like ages the movie finally started. Not even ten minutes into the movie, they were already making fun of it.

"This is awful! Why did you take me to this?"

"_Cause I thought it would be good, besides Harry nor Ron would go with me."_

"I can see why not."

Her excuse was a lie though, she never asked Harry or Ron to go because whether they wanted to go or not, she wouldn't have asked. For there was only one person that she wanted to go see this movie with, and he was sitting right next to her. She turned and stared at Draco. Thinking to herself, about what and why she was feeling what she was feeling. She could not figure out why Draco was so important to her that she would feel this way. What was bugging her most was that she wasn't sure what she was feeling anyway. She always told herself it was her just really caring for her relationship with Draco. That she just cherished their friendship, but this felt different, it felt much stronger than just a friendship. It was something stronger than she'd ever had with Ron or Harry. It felt way to different to be a "just friends" kind of feeling. She wished she had known then what she'd know now, it would have made things easier. While she was in deep thought, and spacing off in Draco's direction. She hadn't noticed she was doing so until she felt something touch her hand, which snapped her back into reality she noticed Draco was staring at her.

"You okay?"

He looked at her, hard, trying to figure out what she was thinking about.

"_Mmm, I'm fine. Just spaced out a little. Lack of sleep will do that to you."_

She laughed and smiled at him. He looked at her without an expression for what seemed like a long time, then smiled. He turned back to look at the movie, and so did Hermione. They watched the movie for a few more minutes until Hermione noticed something. Draco hadn't removed his hand from hers. She sat there, not sure what to think. She was confused by her feelings, she was both confused and, happy. Why was she happy? And it wasn't just happy she was extremely happy, excited, she had butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't sure what to make of all of this so she just decided to go with her instinct which was telling her to grab and hold his hand back. So she did.

For a split second she could feel Draco's whole body tense up and then quickly relax. She looked at him to give him a reassuring smile, but quickly noticed he did not need one, for he was looking at her, and smiling. He was smiling her smile, the smile meant for her. The smile meant for Hermione, and Hermione Granger alone. Hermione opened her mouth to say something but as she began to speak she was quickly shut up by Draco's lips. He kissed her. Draco kissed Hermione, and she was kissing him back. It was a very soft kiss that got more and more intense the longer they held it. Neither of them remembered much of the movie, they were so preoccupied with each other. They held hands kissed and cuddled throughout the whole movie, and to Hermione's surprise, she didn't regret it one bit.

After the movie, Draco walked Hermione home. They laughed about how awful the movie was but that they still had fun anyways. Once at Hermione's front door, Hermione turned to look at Draco. She smiled and thanked him for going with her and that she had a lot of fun. He smiled back and said:

"I know."

He then leaned forward and kissed her forehead, pulled away, gave her a smug look and then said:

"Me too. Good night Granger, sweet dreams."

He then turned and walked away. Hermione stood there for the longest time, dumbfounded and blushing. She was so happy she didn't know what to do.

_What the-? What is this feeling? Do I like Draco? Of course I do! He's my friend, but, do I want to date him?_

It took Hermione the rest of the summer to come up with an answer to that, and the answer was:

_Yes._

Hermione opened her eyes, she had hoped that when she opened them that she'd be somewhere else, or that Draco was in her room, making fun of how plain it was and of her library of books, but neither came true. She was still in her plain room and she was alone. She turned over and looked at the letter, staring back at her, as if taunting her, just begging to be opened. She closed her eyes and began to think of everything that happened after that first date. And began to cry.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: All Things Must Come to an End

After their first date, things changed. They started talking and seeing each other more and more. Things were great, and she was happy. Hermione felt this new, different attraction or connection between herself and Draco. She felt like she was as important to him as he was for her. That they could talk about anything and not have to worry about what the other thought, cause no matter what they said, nothing would change their opinion of the other. Hermione remembered spending most of her free time with Draco at his place. Not Malfoy Manor but Draco's very own place, he inherited it or something, Hermione couldn't remember. They spent most of their time watching movies, cuddling, kissing, and laughing. Everything was fine, it was perfect until one day, everything changed.

Everything was normal. They were watching a movie and talking, it was normal until half way through the movie Draco leaned over and started to kiss Hermione's cheek, and slowly made his way to her neck and began kissing he there. Hermione turned to look at him and He turned his attention to her lips. He was kissing her lips, with her kissing him back. They made out for a few moments, when suddenly Hermione felt Draco's hand making its way under her shirt and was now playing with her pant line. Hermione blushed. At first she wanted to say no, and stop him because she'd never let a guy get so close to her there. It was weird, but even though she was scared, she didn't want him to stop either. So she said nothing, and let his hands roam freely around her body. After several moments of heated passion, Draco's lips left Hermione's. He was panting, hard, but quiet to where Hermione couldn't really tell. She could only really tell because she put her hand on his chest and could feel his heart racing. It was almost racing as fast as her own, she then wondered if he could hear her heart beating, since it seemed like it was beating so fast and loud to her.

He looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. They looked at each other for the longest time without saying anything, then he broke the silence. The next thing that came out of Draco's mouth took Hermione by surprise to where she had to ask him to repeat it one more time so that she was sure of what he had said.

"I said: We should have sex sometime."

She looked at him, hard, trying to see if he was joking or something. He wasn't. He stared at her as well, waiting for an answer. Hermione didn't know what to say. She wanted to, ever since they had started "this," she wanted to. She thought about it a dozen times, but now, now that he had offered she didn't know what to say. She wanted to do it, but feared the outcome of it. Every girl Draco had been with intimately had said that about around the time after they started having sex he lost interest. Even though Hermione felt different from all the other girls, she feared that she'd become one of them. Just another notch on his belt. Just another nameless face he had sex with. As she thought of this she noticed something, they'd been doing this for at least two months now and yet she hadn't heard him call her his girlfriend, nor did they ask each other out. She looked up at Draco and said:

"_Draco, what are we?"_

"What?"

"_I mean, what are we doing? I never asked you out and you didn't ask me out, so are we a couple?"_

"No."

"_Then what are we?"_

"We are friends, but—"

Before Draco could finish his sentence Hermione pushed him off her and got up to leave.

"Hermione, don't go."

"_Why? So you can keep using me? I thought you were different Draco. I thought, I seriously thought I meant something to you, but I guess I was wrong. About everything."_

"Hermione wait—"

But she was already gone. Hermione apparated to her room and without changing into her pajamas, she got into bed, pulled the covers over her head, and cried.

Hermione woke up the next morning to an owl tapping at her window. She took one look at the color of the bird and knew exactly who it was from:

Draco

She looked at the letter. At first she felt like burning the letter, but then wondered what the letter said. After a little debate with herself, she decided that curiosity got the best of her and that she would read it then burn it. So she took the letter from the bird and opened it.

Hermione-

Look, I'm sorry about what happened last night, I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know what to say other than 'I f*cked up, and I am so sorry.' I hope you aren't mad still, or hate me. I would understand if you did though, and if you never wanted to see or talk to me ever again.

-Draco

She read the letter over and over again. She then looked at the owl and shooed him away, telling him to fly home to his master. After the owl left she folded the letter nice and neatly and then put it in the drawer where she kept all of the letters and gifts he had given her. She wasn't going to burn it, it was too sweet, and pathetic. He had apologized, and that was really all she wanted. She didn't care about what he said, just that nothing was brought up into the open. That neither of them talked about their feelings in the open, and that wasn't just his fault, but hers as well. They should have been upfront from the beginning, and maybe if they talked it out they could have a relationship. Hermione wanted to go to his place and apologize herself and talk about it with him, but she remembered that she had plans. So, she figured he could wait and suffer, until tomorrow when she could write him.

Three days past since Draco wrote that letter to Hermione and she hadn't written back or gone to see him. She meant to but was busy hanging out with Ginny, Harry, and Ron and forgot all about it so when a green flash of light lit Hermione's entire room in the middle of the night, it would be an understatement to say that she was a little scared. She screamed a little. A shape of a man started to form where the green light was. When the light disappeared, Draco's body appeared.

_He came! Draco came, why?_

Hermione tried to hide her smile but she couldn't suppress it, she was too happy. Draco was here, in her room, for her.

_Wait. Draco is in my room, in the middle of the night. What if I woke my parents up with my screams, and saw this. What would they think-"_

But before Hermione could panic anymore Draco cut into her thoughts.

"Hermione?"

Draco sounded so sad, like he was about to cry at any given moment, so, without even thinking, Hermione asked:

"_Draco, are you okay?"_

Draco stepped closer to her to where the light from the moon was shining on him, he didn't look sad, just confused.

"Um, are you?"

"_Yeah. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I bet?"_

She looked at him confused, she wasn't sure why he was acting so weird.

"Um, because of what happened the other day. You never contacted me, so. So I thought you hated me… I thought, I thought I lost you."

"_Oh, oh! No I'm not mad, I was just busy, and forgot. I'm real sorry."_

"Oh, okay. So, what now?"

Hermione thought for a moment. She wanted to be with Draco more than anything, but felt that he wasn't ready for a relationship, so she said:

"_Um, I donno, what do you think?"_

"Well, are you mad at me?"

"_No."_

"You hate me?"

"_No. I can't hate you."_

"We still friends?"

"_Yeah, we are still friends."_

He looked at her as if thinking about what to say next. He looked like he was trying to figure out what to say, to not hurt her feelings, so she decided to help him out.

"_Look, I get it. You're not ready. It's fine. I'm fine with being your friend. I'm perfectly happy with being just friends with you."_

He looked up at her, a little confused then said:

"Just friends?"

"_Yeah, just friends"_

He looked at her again, studying her, then slowly put his head down and whispered:

"Okay."

"_Draco, it's late, and we have school tomorrow, I'm sorry. We will talk later."_

"Alright."

He looked at her and gave her a weak smile. She went to hug him but instead got a kiss on the lips. It seemed too fast, almost dream like. He kissed her lips then held her face in his hands, kissed her forehead and got up and left.

For awhile things seemed okay. They were talking, not hanging out as much, but they were still talking. But even that began to fade. At first Hermione figured it was because of classes but it had been months since they actually hung out and when they did it was for a few minutes, between classes, nothing more. After awhile even that disappeared. When she questioned him about it he'd never answer. The first half of the year had come and gone, and winter break was just a few days away, and she hadn't seen or heard from Draco in two months. So when she heard his voice in the hall she got excited and practically ran down it to see him. She was smiling, she was so happy to see him she couldn't contain it. They'd barely talked and so they hadn't talked about the events of the summer at all. She turned the corner and almost ran into him. Draco Turned to see who it was. When he saw it was Hermione he smiled at her, but right away she could see it wasn't his smile that she loved, but an awkward kind of smile. An uncomfortable, forced smile. Hermione was about to say something when a cute little first year broke the awkward silence:

"Draco honey? You were saying?"

"Uh, oh."

He then turned his attention back to her and then acted as if Hermione wasn't there, as if they didn't know each other. So many emotions were going through her, she wanted to yell at him, hit him, cry and then throw herself into his arms so that he could comfort her. Instead, she walked away, and was able to get all the way up to her room before breaking into a million pieces and then crying herself to sleep.

The next morning Hermione went to breakfast and did her normal thing… But when classes were over she was walking down the hallway when someone called out to her. She turned to see Draco running up to her.

"_What Draco?"_

Draco looked a little confused and said:

"Hermione. You okay?"

"_Oh me? I'm fine! Just perfect!"_

She said it with such sarcasm, such malice, anyone could tell she was lying.

"Um maybe I should go."

"_Yeah. That would be a good idea."_

Draco looked at her one more time then turned on his heels and strode away, obviously confused, hurt, and mad.

A few hours later Hermione got a letter that one of her roommates gave to her.

"A boy gave it to me and demanded that I give it to you and that you read it immediately."

The girl looked at her and walked away. Hermione looked at it, no name, so she opened it. When she unfolded the paper she noticed why there was no writing on the envelope, cause both knew that if she knew it was from him, she would have tossed it out the window.

Hermione-

Are you okay? I got worried after I saw you this afternoon, what's wrong?

Draco

She thought about throwing it away and not even bother to write him back, but then figured that if he seriously didn't know she should tell him. So she wrote him.

_Draco-_

_To be honest? Yeah I am not okay. I was so hurt when I saw you with that girl. You knew I liked you, and yet you ignored my feelings, and it hurt, and sucked when I saw you with her, but now I know you don't want a relationship with me, which sucks but I will have to get over it. I should have known even though you never told me how you felt. I should have known that you weren't interested in me._

_ -Hermione_

Not a full day went by, since she gave him the letter, he wrote back.

Hermione-

I'm sorry, I really am, but how could I know that you liked me? You never actually said anything, and if you didn't know how I felt about you, you should have asked, I know I should have.

Draco

She stared at the note, and then began to cry. Why hadn't she asked? Things would have been different if only they'd asked what they felt about one another. If only they told each other how they felt all along, it would've been different. So before she left for the winter break she wrote him another note.

_Draco-_

_Did you ever really want a relationship with me?_

_ -Hermione_

Now, after weeks of waiting, hoping for a letter, it finally came, and here, Hermione had the answer to her question she so desperately wanted answered. Here she was holding it, and yet she was too scared to know the answer. Finally, after wasting half the day debating on reading it, or not, she decided. She took the letter and opened it and quickly unfolded the paper, read it, then stared at it.

Hermione-

I did. I so badly wanted to have a relationship with you. But things change.

-Draco

She stared at it and read it again and again. Finally after reading it an 8th time she dropped it on the floor as she fell to her knees, she put her face into her hands and began to cry, hysterically. After hours of crying she sat there on the floor. Grabbed a piece of paper and wrote. Wrote one final letter to Draco Malfoy.

The next morning the letter arrived at Draco's place. Draco quickly opened it and read the context of the letter.

_Dear Draco-_

_You're right, things change, and I just need to deal with it. I'm sorry for everything, how everything happened, and for how it all ended. I wish things were different. I really do But there is nothing I can do to change it and I'm sorry. I wish things would go back to normal but it can't, and I'm sorry for that as well. I'll see you around Draco, goodbye._

_ Always, Hermione_

Draco read the letter and knew that this wasn't a letter that meant things were okay, and that they'd still be friends, but just by looking at the letter, with its water-tear stains and smudges. He knew it was a farewell letter. That being his friend was too painful and heartbreaking. She was ending it, was letting him go, cutting him out of her life completely. Draco looked up and began to think, but his thoughts were interrupted when the perky first year hugged him from behind.

"Hey, what's that?"

Draco looked and saw that she was gazing at the letter in his hands. He quickly crumpled it up and threw it in the nearest trash can and guided her out of the room while saying:

"Nothing, come on, let's go eat."

"Sure, okay. What do you feel like eating?"

They walked out of the room. A minute later Draco came back in the room, telling her he had forgotten something, quickly grabbed the crumpled paper out of the trash and tried to smooth it out as much as possible, then opened a drawer in his desk. The drawer was full of papers, full of letters. They were every single letter Hermione had given him, except for one, one that was not written by Hermione but to Hermione. Draco wrote it a few months back. He opened it and read it for the 1000th time.

Hermione-

I'm sorry it took so long to tell you this, I just didn't know how to tell you. That night I asked to have sex with you, I really didn't mean it, I mean I wanted to, I'm a guy! But what I really wanted to say was that I loved you. I do, and at the time it scared me, I didn't know what this feeling was. I didn't know how to tell you or express it so I freaked and tried to push you away. I'm sorry Hermione, you are the most important person to me and I don't want to do anything to hurt you. Or push you away, so until I know your feelings for me, I won't tell you mine.

Yours, Draco

Draco smirked at the letter:

Gah, what a fool I was, I should have known how she felt.

He dropped both letters into the drawer and closed it. He muttered a sealing spell, sealing the drawer, and then walked out of the room.

The End


End file.
